Today, me and my family went to the temple for the Nine Gods thingy festival. I suppose you think I suck at this as I don't even know what its called in English but nevertheless, I WENT. Dessiemond didn't go as mom thinks that someone would kidnap him because the crowd was pretty big. It was. As usual, every year, more people, more 'pau'.

mom said it was okay to take pictures

they even had those old opera shows.. old people watch it. But personally, as I was taking pictures, I was rather curious bout the story. It seemed interesting. Something bout this guy marrying bout another girl and this girl is sad, jealous or something. Sigh, bet my grandmother would've loved this. Bet she would expain it to me too..

oh...and this thing moves according to the wind's direction

 I'm too lazy to flip it. Figure it out.

Tired....so much soot on my head...

out

[[ music ]] Beautiful liar
[[ mood ]] cold

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It's raining now. It's almost one in the morning. I can't sleep... I hate this... I'm thinking too much. How do you stop thinking too much?

Count sheep? Done it.

Lullaby? check

what am I to do? It feels terrible.. what shall become of me. what has become of my biological clock.... Lack of sleep makes me really cranky. Upset over little things as I am tired and I am being forced to care for stupid little things. People around me are oblivios about the problem I'm facing. I rather get sick with dry coughs that hurts my lungs and stomach and getting aches all over my body rather than having no sleep at all..

my insecurities can eat me alive...

[[ music ]] Think of me
[[ mood ]] cranky

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Mom wants to bath. I want to bath. Foo Vin Ne wants to bath. DESMOND WANTS TO BATH.

So....mom bathes first cause...she's mom. Then Vins says she has tuition then she has to bath but then Desmond pops up and dad says Des would be faster. So Des was second then Vins. Then me.

WHY did they have to fix the pipes TODAY?

[[ music ]] The pieces don't fit anymore

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I am so....angry...

Just so angry.. I'm tired. I can't sleep again. I have to babysit. My parents don't understand. My exam is tomorrow. My brother is making alot of noise. He just spilled something. This is a very bad time. It's not that I don't want to go to his fun fair. It's just that it's a VERY BAD TIME. I have to study. GOODNESS! Even I know I have to! When I ask if I'm allowed not to go, they give me the whole I don't spend enough time with my brother lecture. Time? You're talking to me bout TIME?! I TEACH HIM. I COOK FOR HIM. I try so hard not to hit him. so hard.... You're guilt tricking me?! I really don't care cause you I'm scared of doing badly too! I'm so freaking scared and I'm NOT confident.

So I'm form four, and my exams aren't that tough? Just because I have sisters who are OLDER and are being tested in a higher level or learning?! so when THEY were form four, it's TOUGHER?! IF THEY CAN DO IT, I CAN?!

NO SWEAT?!

Think like that. Think I'm rebellious and I don't give a damn bout my brother. Think that I have it SO EASY.

well, I'm very sorry if I got it wrong. I don't really care anymore if you think it's me. I'm cranky. I don't understand why some poeple just have to push my buttons to make me pick up an arguement. I don't want to argue. It is very tiring. Besides that, it is also very annoying and I'm not thick skinned enough to be oblivious about it. I have a headache during the fun fair and I felt woozy. I want to cry. My brother is next to me being annoying, kicking the table, making noise, being squeaky, drawing pictures in his spelling book and looking around the room trying to talk like Woody Woodpecker.

I'm going to snap anytime.

Maybe I'm just cranky. Maybe I'm wrong. But for the time being, I am in rage...

[[ music ]] Haru haru-Big bang
[[ mood ]] aggravated

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It's Friday. There's still another week to go. I had history today and I am not confident. I went to school and walked out of class for assembly with a book as usual. When I was on top of the stairs, I stood there thinking,

"God, how I WISH someone would push me down and get hurt just enough to skip this bleeding day."

As usual, some wishes don't come true. No one was around and I had to go to assembly.

*sigh*

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Does one truly understand or is it just a phrase signifying comfort and pity?

Does one truly care or is one the real source of all this pain?

Does one truly know that I am filled with a sense of doubt?

Can one be one truly that oblivious?

[[ music ]] 19Sai-xxxHolic
[[ mood ]] aggravated

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I think there are 33 definitions...

Instead of inspiring me and making me all hyped up bout doing good by learning moral, makes me think that this whole thing is a load of bull.

Edit:

It was 1.04....now it's 2.18 a.m.

FINALLY

[[ mood ]] crappy

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Add math is as good as history but hey, least I can finally fall asleep.

And the laughs roll by..

[[ music ]] Just my luck-Mc Fly
[[ mood ]] creative

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Okay, new skin. Still working out some kinks but I think this is a lil more simple. It's much more brighter, that's for sure. As all of you know, I'm not that big of a fan of a bucket full of sunshine, that's most likely why I picked this shade of blue.

Anyways, there are many things to blog about...but I'm not sure if it'll be all out tonight as it is a rather long post of what has happened. It's most likely accumulating in my drafts.

Any, any ways...

oh my GOD...

There's a sound in the next room and I have no guts to see what it is. Please tell me it's a bird or something. PLEASE!

.......................................................

10 mintues

I woke FooVinNe up to see what it is. I hear a cricket. I am CERTAIN it was a sawing sound! Like someone wants to saw in or somemthing!! And it lasted for SO LONG! Until I played a song! It stopped! It couldn't been ANYTHING! Gotta tell dad tomorrow...

................................................

what I really wanted to blog...

...Nevermind...I'm out of the zone.

Nights

[[ music ]] Lose control
[[ mood ]] scared

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There are so many things to blog about. Right from the very beginning where Foo started her HOLIDAY~ Since her hair grew already, I guess I'm allowed to post some pictures~

First, we played pictionary! Foo got pictionary, so all of us went to play in Starbucks. I was in the WINNING TEAM! *Grins*

Few days later, we probably went out to eat or something..

and foovinne studies...as usual...

Then there's Foo's new lappie

And fovinne studies some more..

Then we went to a PC fair right before our BBQ during the mooncake festival. So festive this year since the girls at home are free to prepare food and stuff.

spot our Miss Foo?

Then our BBQ

AND OUR HAPPY WORKER~

Then me and Foo went for movies and saw this mushy couple in front of us.

Foo wanted to buy lipstick too..so ya know...drew everythinng there

Foo sometimes make breakfast for me and Des

Sometimes, I wonder if anyone even wants to know what we were doing........

Then there's the time where Foo had to teach Foovinne how to put her contact lens...will upload the video in youtube later~

Then ya know, goodbye dinner for her royal highney...

Foo would teach Des how to study when she felt like it

Then there are the random things me and my friends do when we were sick of exams

I drew as soon as exams were over~

And abo got a new phone...again..

I think that's all...till NEXT TIMe!!! there's the Mooncake festival thingy

And I thank my friends for support 

[[ music ]] Sexy back
[[ mood ]] blank

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Sometimes, words can be so painful, as some people are simply completely oblivious to the meaning and affect that the words hold. Not knowing what to say when a loved one is in need is indeed as hurtful as all one can do is look at one's loved one suffer and yet not knowing or doing anything about it.
Having a good gesture of help, sympathy, empathy or even condolence rejected is not a pleasant thing to experience either. Nevertheless, we occasionally have to know that we are not wanted nor needed. We have to know that they don't want any, at all. However, there are people in the world who are still eager to help even if they were pushed away. Eager to be there for their loved ones even if they are not wanted. Eager to just stay put, and to lend a shoulder to cry on even if there were no tears. Eager to lend an ear, even if there were no complaints. Those people would just want to stay there and be there. Annoying? Irritating? Exasperating?
Perhaps Do you think there are still people like that? People who have your back or so we can say, want to have your back 24/7?
The simplest words and gesture can change one's view of you. How you say hello, how you sit down, how loud you are...all these things matter.
You can come into a room on a fine day, finding your loved one weeping. You can embrace them and they can push you away. You can talk to them and they can tell you to shut up. You can pat them on the back and they can say stop. But they'll never ask you to leave. Can you be there for me even if I wasn't there for you?
That was always an painless question to answer. They'd all say yes right away with no shilly-shallying whatsoever. They'd substantiate and sternly look at you to gain your confidence, your trust. That's what they would all do. Nonetheless, there will always be an excuse like, ‘She wasn't there for me, why should I be there for her?'. Are those people worth crying for? Are those people worth waiting for? You be the judge.
I've been twisting and turning at a place that's too small, waiting for you, risking it all.
Watching it fading, watching it fall apart.
It's time to surrender as the pieces don't fit anymore.
So let it go, release and tell me what's wrong.

Pieces just don't fit anymore...

[[ music ]] All at sea- Jamie Cullum
[[ mood ]] discontent

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