Face your fears and don't give up.

If I were to be stuck in a situation where I am unable to join in the flow, I would leave. I find it amazing how one can just sit there and be tortured like that. You don't know what they're bickering about, you don't understand what they're bickering about, and you just stay there. Motionless. Praying for it to pass while you try to hinder from it by chatting/complaining with your friends using your cell phone.

There are times like that. Everyone encounters it ( i think ). A few days ago, I had a friend who asked me, " Have you ever gotten anything without even trying? All you had to do was wish enough, want it enough, and you got it." It took me a very long time to think about it. I gave it a long thought even after I answered no. Even when I was at home, that question was still stuck in my head. I kept thinking and thinking. " There must be something." was what I thought. Guess I was wrong. Nothing.

Aside from that, I watched "The Happening" last Sunday with my friend Qingx and  acquaintance Gilbert.  The movie was gory . I was really grossed out. Qingx loved it. Gilbert? I don't know. I suppose I forgot to ask. It's about a virus which will cause our brain to disfunction and commit suicide. I know you might think it's stupid but...okay, it's a lil stupid. There were so many bloody scenes. I covered my eyes. If I didn't hear Qingx stop laughing, it means it's still on. I hate those. I feel unsafe with my surroundings now. It's as if some thing's gonna get me. It;s the after effect. I'm still waiting for someone to help me get over it.

Form 4 life sucks. [ None of you are allowed to talk bout form 6 or go 'wait till form 5'] It's so boring. I hate it. Nothing happens. It's the same thing everyday. EVERYDAY. If I'm lucky, I'll have a few laughs in class but I'm very forgetful and greedy. I want more. I want more friends too. It's as if I'm running out of people to talk to too. I'm not sleeping well nowadays. I don't know why. I toss and I turn but nothing works. I fall asleep by 5.30 in the morning and I have to wake up at 6.30 a.m. WHYYYYYY????????

There's got to be more to life says Stacie Orico or however you spell it. I hate to admit it but.... I wont admit it, she's WRONG. rIGHT...I.. am confused.

When I say,

I love you.

How do you picture me say it?

I wonder......

Gotta scoot. Ciao.

************ 

KWONJIYONGISTHEMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[[ music ]] This love -Big Bang
[[ mood ]] irritated

sarcastic remark

finished

[[ music ]] This Love - KwonJiYong
[[ book ]] Grotesque
[[ show ]] Meet the robinsons
[[ mood ]] frustrated

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I don't understand why can't she shut up. I'm crying so often lately. Why can't she stop scolding me? Everytime I get home, I see her, she scolds me. SHUT UP! I'm so sick of it. Stop yelling at me. Stop telling I don't deserve to exist. Sure I don't care at first, but it sinks in. I'm so pressured that everytime someone talks to me seriously bout something I start crying. Why can't you stop making me cry? What did I do? Why can't you just shut up. I'm very offended. I'm trying to be nice to you but you yell. I tried being ignorant but you persist and you still yell. STOP EFFIN YELLING! I HATE IT!

It's driving me up the wall.

[[ mood ]] annoyed

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Today, he did it again. He fought in school. My brother I mean. It was epic and thrilling. Normal day care situation and sudden;y the fighting for colour pencils start. On and on they throw childish comments like ' I dowan to fren yu anymore' at each other. Then the fight begins. Pushes and so called 'punches' were being exchanged here and there and finally, Desmond Foo pushes the kid and the kid now has a scar/mark right down his chest. The kid cried.

That's what I think. I'm not sure myself but what mom actually said was he pushed someone and now the kid has a mark down his chest. The punishment was simple yet taunting. He was going to live in the bathroom. I was awoken by the noise. There was the usual, " People who fights in this house lives in the toilet" or " we don't want to live with naughty people, so you have to move to the toilet". Mom told me to bathe him soon after and give him some sister to brother guilt treatment. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at it. He was quiet but he still had the mood to kick around the bubbles made from the foam of the shampoo. After he changed, quietly and efficiently, he asked me what should he do. It took me bout 10 seconds to say " Go say sorry to mommy nicely." He did. But OUCH! Mom was harsh. She told him there's no need to apologise to her anymore. So he went to Dad. It's so obvious Dad likes girls better. When we [we as in me, foo and vin] used to do it, we get a "it's okaaaay..." *hug*. Now it's," You better not do it again!" and he was dismissed.

Yeap. That's the event of the day.

Till next time.

[[ music ]] Jiyong- but i love you
[[ book ]] Memory Keeper's daughter
[[ mood ]] groggy

1 sarcasm?